Gaining Confidence Through Travel
One of the things I like most about travel is how much confidence it gives me. Yes, I love exploring other cultures, trying foreign food, seeing the sights, and meeting new people. But through all of these aspects of travel comes a great deal of confidence for me. It’s one of the reasons I love solo travel, but it works when I travel with Andy as well. But what happens when I’m not traveling?
Travelers who aren’t traveling
Other than a quick weekend in Frankfurt for the Christmas Markets, Andy and I haven’t traveled since September when we were in Portugal for a blogging conference. That’s six months without taking any trips, and it doesn’t look like we’ll be traveling for a few more months. We have our reasons for this, saving money and planning some big things for our future, but it’s frustrating to not go anywhere.
Being at home this long makes us feel stuck, trapped. But we’ve started noticing another unpleasant effect of not traveling. We’re not getting our regular doses of confidence. Andy and I aren’t necessarily the most naturally confident people out there, so we need reminders and a boost now and then. Travel gives us that boost in a way nothing else really does.
We need more frequency
Having a really amazing travel experience six or seven months ago isn’t enough to sustain us. I’ve slid back to doubting myself and needing reassurances. Travel shows me I can handle so much more than I ever imagined, but if I don’t travel often enough I forget about that strength.
Fear and stress
I’ve also noticed how easy it is to let certain fears take over when I’m not traveling. I find myself reading about a destination I know tons of people have traveled to and loved, but because of the media and preconceived notions, I’m hesitant to go there. Even though I know that’s silly. Traveling shows me there isn’t as much to fear as we’re led to believe.
Travel constantly puts us in stressful and overwhelming situations. We often have to make quick decisions on the road. It doesn’t take long before those situations don’t feel so overwhelming anymore because we just handle it and it works. That spills over into our everyday life at home as well. But only if we travel often enough.
It’s a different mindset
When we travel, we expect things to be different. We expect that not everything will go the way we expect it to. In general I think that makes us more laid back, more easy going, more go with the flow. Like when we had to get from Cappadocia to Selcuk. We actually got a rush from booking a hotel room in three minutes using wifi from another bus. I don’t get things like that at home.
So what’s the solution? Definitely more travel. We need that confidence kick. Unfortunately we have to wait a little bit longer before we can actually hit the road. In the meantime, we’ve been watching the Amazing Race and old episodes of No Reservations, and working on those elusive travel plans. Hopefully I’ll be able to announce those plans soon!
March 11, 2013 @ 12:27 PM
Sorry you guys can’t travel right now. But travel doesn’t have to be going far. I’m sure there must be quite a lot to discover around the area where you live. Why don’t you work on a dining guide for Feiburg? Or 10 free things to do around Freiburg?
March 28, 2013 @ 9:42 PM
I guess what we really need is the actual travel, the change of scenery, the newness. And Freiburg is still so wintery and gloomy right now, it’s not really going to fix the problem. We’ll get back out there soon though!
March 11, 2013 @ 1:28 PM
Great post! I had a year like that in 2012, where travel just wasn’t an option for various reasons. It was hard, and my confidence also took a hit, so I can totally relate to this! Hope you can find a solution in other ways (day trips are often a good way to keep the travel momentum)
March 28, 2013 @ 9:44 PM
Thanks Elle! I know we’ll get back on the road soon, so I’m just trying to focus on the planning and anticipation for now. If spring would ever show up, a day trip might be nice, but it’s still so gloomy. It actually snowed for a little while today, at the end of March!
March 11, 2013 @ 2:05 PM
so true!
March 28, 2013 @ 9:44 PM
Thanks!
March 11, 2013 @ 6:44 PM
This is very true. I am currently in Budapest and this has been something I had looked forward to since Christmas. Travel does give me a huge boost. When I am home every niggle my body suffers from suddenly feels more painful. Travel is also my relaxation. When I get back home next week I will have six months to prepare for my next trip.
March 28, 2013 @ 9:46 PM
I’d love to go to Budapest one of these days! I’m glad I’m not the only one who suffers when there’s too much time in between trips. I hope you had a great trip and have fun planning the next one! (P.S. Sorry for the delayed response, I’ve been sick.)
March 11, 2013 @ 9:59 PM
I’m with you %100 percent. I’m never more confident than when I’m traveling.
It’s because it’s the only time I feel like I doing what I’m supposed to be doing. Another reason is that life is freer and the little don’t seem to bog you down.
Great post Ali!
March 28, 2013 @ 9:47 PM
Thanks Stephen! Sounds like we’re on the same page about travel. So excited for you that your big trip starts soon!
March 11, 2013 @ 10:27 PM
i couldnt agree more…but the best is yet to come as they say! planning a travel has something out of traveling too…;-)
March 28, 2013 @ 9:48 PM
Thanks! I do enjoy the planning. Although with this much time on my hands, I could’ve planned a year’s worth of trips! Ha!
March 12, 2013 @ 9:11 AM
I can totally relate. I’m usually travelling from early spring until early fall, but the rest of the year I mostly stay in Belgium to take my dance classes and, well, work. This winter was the first time I felt this really, really doesn’t work for me.
I hater winter, I hate being cold all the time and I just crave some sunlight. I know travel doesn’t always ahve to equal sun and heat, but for me it often does. Sun, heat, exploring and meeting new people is what give me a boost. Like you say, it seems like I can do so much more, be so much more when I’m on the road.
So next winter I’m taking of.
Na!
😀
March 28, 2013 @ 9:50 PM
This winter has been insane! Ok it was my first full winter in Germany, but really, today is March 28 and it snowed for a little while! I hate winter, and I would love to take off somewhere warm for a few months! (Sorry for the delayed reply, I’ve been sick.)
March 12, 2013 @ 10:08 AM
So true. I think when you are traveling you are often so out of your comfort zone that you have to become more confident. SHame you can’t travel right now, but I am looking forward to your big announcement.
March 28, 2013 @ 9:51 PM
Thanks Tammy! We’ve hit a few unexpected roadblocks, mostly me getting sick, but I’m hoping to make that announcement soon. We’re both itching to get back out there and travel as soon as possible!
March 15, 2013 @ 4:02 PM
I agree – so many great confidence lessons in travel…we’ve been travelling about once a month since the start of the year – hope we can keep it up!
March 28, 2013 @ 9:54 PM
You’ve had a bunch of great trips over the last few months! Always great to know other people understand what I mean about what travel can do for you. Thanks Andrea!
March 21, 2013 @ 2:50 PM
Completely agree with you Ali. Travel does make you shed your inhibitions.
Hope you travel soon!
March 28, 2013 @ 10:03 PM
Thanks Arti! We should be back out there soon, I hope!
March 25, 2013 @ 3:14 AM
I know all about this. I get my one big trip per year, then I can usually squeeze in another couple weekend trips, but for the rest of the year, I feel grounded. I’ve even used that word when describing it to people. They always look at me like I’m crazy and have comments like “Didn’t you just get back from a month off?”
People don’t understand, but I know how hard it can be. When I leave for Europe in April, it’ll be over 10 months since I returned from New Zealand.
March 28, 2013 @ 10:23 PM
I knew you’d be able to relate to this Erik! I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since your New Zealand trip, crazy. Good thing it’s almost time for your next one!
March 27, 2013 @ 1:25 AM
I’m pretty sure that the answer to almost any question….is ‘definitely more travel.’ haha. that is one of the beauties about travelling, that it forces you out of your comfort zone from time to time…and by doing so, builds your confidence.
March 28, 2013 @ 10:26 PM
I just might have to start answering questions that way: More travel! Ha! I love that travel gives us so much more than just seeing stuff. Thanks!
March 29, 2013 @ 4:51 PM
I know how you feel, because I am feeling it now that I am home. Oh & I have only been home a month. When you travel often you realize how hard it really is yet easy so of course it’s only natural for your confidence to feel amazing but then when your back in the routine of life waiting for the next adventure you do nothing that really challenges you. Anyway you will back on the road before you know it. For now keep saving saving & saving!
March 30, 2013 @ 8:32 PM
I knew you’d understand this too. I can’t even imagine traveling for 2 years and then dealing with being back home again. I’m sure some parts of it are nice, but others are probably hard to deal with. I hope you’re doing good. Yes, we’ll be traveling again really soon!
March 30, 2013 @ 6:29 PM
So true. Daily life at home is monotonous, you can go about with your eyes closed you know everything so well. There’s little chance for confidence boosts when you never have to challenge yourself! I’m always amazed at how travel changes a person (both myself and others). Boosts confidence, makes you more relaxed, really just makes you grow that bit more into who you are. Guess that’s part of the addiction! Great post and hope you get back out there traveling again soon!
March 30, 2013 @ 8:34 PM
Thanks Charlie! Travel is such a wonderful thing for confidence. Definitely part of the addiction for me! It makes me feel more alive. We should be traveling again soon, I’m really looking forward to it!
March 31, 2013 @ 11:16 AM
Good post Ali. I especially agree about the “fear” part, I find that happens even when I stay put on the road for too long. I’ll hear about a place that gets a bad rap and I’m hesitant to go, even though I know that’s probably silly.
April 1, 2013 @ 12:28 PM
Thanks Kim! Travel is definitely a great way to fight against those fears. I never thought about being on the road and falling into that, but it makes sense if you settle somewhere for awhile and start getting comfortable that fear might creep in again.
April 2, 2013 @ 2:46 PM
Frequency is really important for travellers. If you stop travelling you are most likely to lose that strength you actually need. For me travel is something that brings newness to your life; the change that you require every now and then.
April 3, 2013 @ 11:22 AM
You sound very similar to me and my husband! I like routine sometimes, but I miss that newness and change. It’s been way too long since our last trip, and I’m really looking forward to what’s coming up next for us.
April 4, 2013 @ 3:57 AM
I havn’t travelled in 8 months. We were supposed to go to Canada next month but a medical emergency means we might not be able to trvael again for a year or longer. I totally understand feeling trapped because of it – in fact the thought of it makes me really depressed as well
April 4, 2013 @ 11:17 AM
Jade, I’m so sorry to hear that! I hope your medical situation improves soon. I can completely understand that depression, especially if you’re dealing with both travel withdrawal and health issues. Hang in there, try to focus on positive things, and hopefully things will start looking up soon!
April 7, 2013 @ 1:24 PM
It appears that travel is like exercise. It needs to be done or it causes pain. And without it you really can get down.
April 7, 2013 @ 3:01 PM
Nice comparison. Our travel muscles are definitely in need of more exercise right now!
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April 9, 2013 @ 10:02 PM
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